When is it my time?

“When is it MY time?” I hope you’re not like me, but it you are then you may have at least allowed that phrase to enter your mind. It might have hung around for a while, too. It’s a very popular notion. It speaks of deficit, weariness, comparison, and even jealously. It is particularly prominent in and among SEC football coaches and teams not named Saban and ALABAMA. Hey, truth is truth.  

 

This query can become the most dangerous…one ever uttered. It takes us to a place whereby we seriously entertain ways to MAKE it our time. In other words, we are about to jump ship…onto the first passing vessel. We are about to take control of our lives one way or another.

How does one get to this point? It usually doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to become this desperate. It takes time to even notice that you’re becoming desperate. Many times people are caregivers who are weary. Some are spouses who believe themselves ignored, invisible, or taken for granted. Others still, are employees who see others move up or out and feel underappreciated. And, then, there are the parents who give…and give…and give some more only to feel that it’s never enough. Single parents have it tough in this area. I know because my mom was one.

The Bible even mentions the concept…in Galatians 6:9. It admonishes us to “not be weary in well doing.” (KJV) In the Message paraphrase it reads “Let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good.” So, it appears that this “opting out” mindset has been around quite a while.

How then, do we keep from getting the “MY TIME” syndrome?  Here are a few suggestions:

  1. Reject the martyr complex. There. I said it. (And just lost some of you.) Let’s be honest. Some people revel in the idea that they are indispensible. If you look closely you may find that they have actually perpetuated this unhealthy pattern. Yes, they do complain but it’s part of the benefit – and they wouldn’t change a thing.
  2. Allow others to help. Finding help is sometimes a chore in itself so when someone offers, grab it! They need to serve in Jesus name and you need the recovery time.
  3. Find a new “you” thing. It could be a new outside activity (run/walk, art, bible study group). “Outside” means away from your norm – although just getting “out” is a plus. Sunshine is an emotional vitamin. (By the way, exercise has been found to be as effective for treating depression as meds.) It could be a new cause that helps. Volunteering gets our focus off self – and that’s always a good thing.
  4. Take charge. Sometimes you just have to be assertive and make some hard choices. Make some changes for the better. You can’t change everything but you can change something. Get to it!
  5. Trust and obey. Here’s a good word to hold onto. God is sovereign. God is good. God knows my situation. God has not forsaken me. God is acting on my behalf. I TRUST God. (see 2 Chronicles 16:9a)

 

One final word needs to be given on this topic. Remember how I said that sometimes people jump ship to the first passing vessel? Well, that may not be the best idea. Keep this in mind: the first vessel may be a garbage scow. You current situation only seems like it stinks to high heaven. Yikes!

 

Your “having MY time right now” pastor,

Rob